Time does fly.......

I have returned once again. A whole lot has gone down in the last few months, where in the world did we leave off? Perhaps we start over. Which, in a way, is exactly what I have been doing recently. So, whilst we were separated this happened:

Holy crap, I'm like an adult now. The funny thing about starting something new is, you actually have to figure out where to go with it. This is not at all as simple as one might imagine. Especially when you need to make a living and nothing you enjoy actually makes any real money in this world. Not to fear however, I feel I shall prevail. Because anything worth doing is definitely worth working for. Though the path is highly uncertain at this time and I fear the breadcrumbs will soon run out, there is always something new around the bend. One little footstep at a time......

Atha - Now we begin.

Ok, ok...I have been a pretty sorry excuse for a blogger recently. I can say nothing more than, life happens. Moving on. I have been digging through the insane mess that is my mind lately and have been slowly working on some much needed pre-spring cleaning.  I have become aware that I am a serious hoarder of unnecessary emotional crap. There's a lot of fear stored in there, some childhood insecurities, held over anger, attachment... all in all, it's a bunch of stuff I don't need. I have been dragging this stuff with me from year to year, piling more and more on top of it. If I were equating it to a moving day I would need several U-haul's by this point. I'd take it all to Goodwill, but I don't want anyone else to have to carry it around either. The only choice is to get rid of it for good, because this is obviously not working to my advantage. In class the other day my teacher discussed the first of the Yoga Sutras. It reads: atha yoga anushasanam. Makes perfect sense right? ;) It translates to - "Now, after having done prior preparation through life and other practices, the study and practice of Yoga begins." What it is saying to me in shortened terms is "Now we begin". She spoke to us about this sutra in relation to change, in order to begin something you must decide that Now is the time to do so. What struck me the most was the atha, now, such a simple word. If things are not working the way you want them to, if your current state of mind is not benefiting you then you must decide that now it is time to change it. The way I have been going through life just isn't working. Which brings us back to my spring cleaning. Now is my time to re-organize the way I approach life. Now is the time to slough off those pieces of myself that are holding me back and push forward lighter and more efficiently toward happiness. We all have the ability to experience happiness in life. It does not have to be sacrificed to unexpected changes or old bad habits that we carry along with us, we just have to know how to maneuver through all of it. I am only hitting the tip of the iceberg in my learning and I am certain there are many more a-ha moments to come. I will try to keep up my Blog with all the helpful tidbits that come my way as I go.  But, I am amazed at the difference just this simple lesson has already made in my life. Now really is my time. What I have been doing isn't working, so time to change. All I have to do is commit to beginning.

Just go with It

It has been a little while since my last entry. I have been working overtime to wrap my mind around all that has happened since I said goodbye to 2010. 2010 was a confusing year. I didn't know where I was going or what I wanted to do and I spent a good amount of time trying to will something into existence. I was really tough on myself and distant from those around me. Thank the lord my husband is such an understanding person. Everything just seemed foggy and I was certain I would be miserable to the end of my days. So when resolution time came this year I wasn't sure what to do. In past years I adored the idea of New Year's resolutions. Always making grander and more exciting plans for the future, as if the stroke of midnight would transform me instantly and quell all my hated habits. Obviously it never happened. It just seemed preposterous this year to think everything could change at the drop of a hat. So I made a deal with myself. I would continue everything from 2010 and just continue to make small positive adjustments. I would also work to be kinder to myself and enjoy what has already been bestowed upon my life. Good plan, slow and steady. That is the point where the Universe always seems to kick into high gear, when you stop forcing and searching and just roll with it. 4 days after I said Happy New Year!!!! and promptly fell asleep (back off I'm old) things started to happen. I was planning on saving all through the year in order to certify as a Yoga instructor next February. Certain fortuitous events (and a very kind person) are allowing this to happen next month instead. As excited as I am, I also have some growing anxiety. Is this the right path? What if I suck? Maybe it's not what I am supposed to do. Then what am I supposed to do? Will I ever have it all figured out?  Then the other night I was working through some gentle asanas to try and clear my muddled head and I couldn't quite get comfortable in any of them. I kept trying to force my breath to be longer and it felt unnatural, I was pushing my arm a little too far till it hurt and I thought,"Isn't this supposed to be relaxing?" I suddenly felt my body ask me to stop pushing and "just go with it". So I let my body take over, making minor adjustments, and instantly felt calmer. I then realized what my new "resolution" really meant. We can't control it all or push for large changes and expect instant gratification. Often all we do is tie ourselves into bigger, painful knots and feel bad about who we are. We can only make small adjustments and allow life to run it's course. Whatever you choose as a resolution this year, don't get discouraged if your life isn't suddenly and drastically different. Small positive shifts may be happening and if you are only looking for the larger picture you may miss them. Me? I'm not going to question the Universe anymore....I'm going to continue to "Just go with It".

Creative Wifery

Crochet Madness
After bribing my cat in order to get my yarn back, he owns my soul now, I finally finished that project I mentioned a few posts back. The back story on this little project is that I made it for my husband's work as a White Elephant gift. He works at Walt Disney Animation and if you saw their most recent animated film you might recognize this little guy as one of the sidekicks. (I'm not sure if I can put the names in here, but you get the idea.) Anyway, here he is:

I wasn't sure how he was going to turn out since I made up the pattern as I went. I can say that a size G hook is the perfect size to make most of the pieces. I might make another one, if I do I will try to remember to notate how I do it. In the meantime, enjoy the cuteness!

And we're back.

Took a little technology hiatus over the holidays. I had a strange overwhelming urge to talk to humans instead of a computer. Weird, hope that doesn't become habitual. Anywhoo, I hope everyone had a wonderful Non-Denominational Holiday season and made multiple impossible New Years resolutions.