Craft Complications

This is what happens when I try to get a project done. Never and I mean never leave your yarn unattended people. I'm working on a little something to share with all of you. It will be fantastic....if I ever get my yarn back.

Life - 1, Me - 0

Had a bit of a reality check today. It was one of those moments when you are sailing right along, thinking you are a pretty swell person. Then something happens, you react and then you suddenly think to yourself, wow, I'm such an ass. Happens all the time, happened to me just this afternoon. I had gone to yoga class and had left the studio feeling super relaxed and all proud of myself for going. I zipped over to Fry's to pick something up whilst tapping my foot and singing to the fabulous Beatles. I was so zenned that I didn't mind the airport traffic, the lines or even the people who only seem to come out once a year and have forgotten exactly how society works. I was calm, I was one with nature...I was yogafied.
That's when it happened. As I came to the exit, there were two motorcycle cops sitting in the intersection with their lights flashing. Alright, no big deal. Hope everything is OK. I continue singing along with Paul about a tall broad named Sally. Then the cars started inching towards me. It was a Funeral motorcade. And what is the first thing that comes out of my enlightened mouth? Not, how sad or happy thoughts for those who are grieving. No way. My first thought was,"Shit, this is gonna take forever." Nice. I watched the cars in my rearview quickly getting wise to the situation and beginning to find another exit. I entertained the thought of doing the same thing myself. Then I realized what I was thinking and mentally slapped myself. It's the holiday season! A time when we should all be caring, warm and giving. Right? And I have the audacity to get annoyed with someone for screwing up my schedule by dying! See! A total Ass! So I put my car into park and watched the cars roll slowly past me. I looked at the people inside each vehicle and wondered how they were feeling and it began to sink in to my thick skull exactly how many cars were passing by me. I began counting. I got up to 60 and that wasn't including the ones I missed while being an insensitive bastard. How wonderful that so many people turned out to celebrate this person, I wonder what they were like. And how sad for them to lose someone so close to the holidays. It was then that I realized what my teachers were talking about when they say it is sometimes difficult to practice loving kindness towards others. It is easy to get caught up in our own trials.
After a few more minutes the motorcade finished and the intersection was back open for business. I made a note to myself to remember this moment and to try harder to approach things with compassion. Then the universe allowed me opportunity for another wicked little thought to slip by. Just as I turned down the street I noticed a man walking briskly to his car, the back of his jacket said TSA. I smiled to myself and mused whether or not he would make it there in one piece. Oh well, guess I'll have to keep working on this whole kindness thing. ;)

Kilgie's Kitchen - Choco-Chip Peppermint Oreo Cookies

I enjoy many things in this wide world, but few bring me as much joy as baking. It's relaxing, creative, smells amazing and brings great happiness to all that choose to partake. I might just be having a lurid affair with my Kitchenaid...good thing my husband supports the union. Also, thank all that is Holy that I married someone who cooks. Cause that is not my forte'. I have a few dishes under my sleeve, but they aren't winning any contests. Anyway, yesterday I had a hankerin' to whip up something festive since the weather decided, why yes, it actually is winter. 85 degrees in December....ridiculous. Also, my husband's co-workers get feisty without baked goods....you know who you are. :)
Originally I wanted to make Peppermint Pinwheels or something involving a peppermint flavor. But the thought of waiting 2 hours for the dough to chill then rolling it out, plus the added bonus of driving to the store in holiday traffic for Peppermint extract (which I did not have in the cupboard after all, *$%@#) didn't sound all that appealing...and sometimes I'm lazy. So I did it my way; quick and using what I had. They turned out a little something like this:

First, I whipped up a batch of my favorite Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Cause let's face it, when it comes to dough you want to nibble at, it's the tastiest. Then I added mini Chocolate Chips and crushed Peppermint Oreos (which I already had, bonus!). I split the dough into 2 batches and added a little food coloring for a splash of Holiday Pizazz! Kids and adults alike would love the color. Simple, delicious and best of all: FESTIVE. Happy holiday baking everyone!

Craft Explosion

And renegade it was! As promised I want to give all you crafties out there a taste of the creativity festival I attended last weekend. It was a feast for the senses of this crafting nerd and not the place to be if you are semi-broke and trying to get through Christmas. There was screenprinting, jewelry, felting, crocheting and knitting, paper products, amazing clothes......etc, etc, ad nauseum. The one problem I have whenever I go to these affairs, aside from wanting to buy everything, is the little voice in my head that says,"I could learn to do that." Leaving me with a list of DIY projects to learn that are as long as my leg. First up, obviously, is learning how to use a sewing machine. It seems to me that once you can do that you can rule the World!!! Or at least make a lot of really cool crap. Anyway, I left with my pocketbook virtually unscathed and only a slight sunburn. I did however pick up this little treasure:


Which you can find here:
http://www.theweekendstore.com/

They make jewelry out of vintage typewriter keys. I couldn't seem to walk away from it, it needed a home. :)
Instead of going on and on about these amazing artists I will instead give you a list of my favorites to peruse at your leisure. May they bring you as much inspiration as they brought me.
And now, on with the links:

A little of everything:
http://www.birdenvy.com/
http://www.boredinc.net/
http://www.boygirlparty.com/shoppe/
http://www.ohmafelt.com/


Clothes and Accessories:
http://circlesandsquares.biz/
http://bobbysoxie.blogspot.com/
http://chocolateandsteel.com/index.html
http://www.dellala.com/ - The bags here are made by the women in Hohoe, Ghana. The company works hard to bring jobs and education to this impoverished community.
http://emberarts.com/ - Beads made from recycled paper. Ember Arts partners with refugee women in Uganda who would otherwise be working in rock quarries under hellish conditions. Beautiful story.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/lelabela

Jewelry:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/spokenwheel
http://www.misturadesigns.com/
http://www.jennyandjimbob.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/GemJunkie?section_id=5868656

Paper:
http://invitapaperstudio.com/
http://www.bookjournals.com/ 
http://www.franticmeerkat.com/
http://www.etsy.com/shop/krankpress

Art:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/AsULikeIt
http://www.davemarcoullier.com/Site/home.html
http://www.theposterlist.com/
http://prettylittlethieves.com/home.html
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mcaplan

Edible:
http://www.ticings.com/ - Gluten free, delicious and adorable.

Stop, Look and Listen

Lord knows I have always been able to talk. It’s what I do best really. I used to be ashamed of it when I was younger. I would get so excited to be in a conversation and people would stare at me with a look that said,” Does she ever shut-up?”. I couldn’t help it. There is just something about learning about someone’s life that gives me a major endorphin rush. My mom says as a toddler you could take me anywhere. The only thing she had to worry about was me knowing everyone in the room by the time we left. It continued on from there. In the third grade my teacher Mrs. Channel, may she rest in peace, used to keep a pacifier in her desk drawer that she threatened me with at least once a day. She gave it to me when I graduated to fourth and I still have it. She was an amazing woman. She instilled in me the love of books and language, through many a book report. But, I learned to appreciate it and she encouraged me to continue talking and writing about everything I could. And that is exactly what I have done.
Perhaps it is meant to be, because people just come up and talk to me everywhere I go. I’m the person that always gets asked directions or about products in a store. I meet people in lines, at traffic lights, in waiting rooms, in store aisles, and most recently…at the gym.
I am a bit of a yoga enthusiast and at that moment in time I had been doing a pretty wicked Warrior 3 to stretch out my hamstrings. For those of you that aren’t big on yoga it would have looked like I was balancing on one foot. When I came out of my pose, I heard a voice to my left say,” That’s impressive.” I looked over to see a man in his mid-forties with a broad friendly smile and eyes that seemed wise beyond his years. I told him thanks, however, I’d never honestly thought much of just standing on one foot. You are asked to do it all the time in a yoga class, hell, I do it standing in lines. The gentleman, we will call him Dan, then proceeded to tell me that just standing on one foot was a daily challenge for him. See Dan is a childhood cancer survivor and 30 years of radiation therapy have caused some serious side effects. He has good days and bad days. Sometimes just lifting a cup of coffee to his lips before spilling it is the biggest challenge of the day, his muscles and depth perception don’t always function properly anymore. The stretching for him is the most difficult part; it brings him the most pain. But, he is striving to incorporate more of it in his day. He beamed proudly when he revealed to me that if it hadn’t been for meditation he wouldn’t be walking today. Despite all these setbacks in his life, he was out of the house, smiling and trying to keep up normal daily activities. Dan is an amazing inspiration. How often we take for granted all the things our bodies will do for us. There are so many days I don’t do my yoga practice because I just don’t feel up to it. Who is to say how we would react if our faculties were suddenly taken away from us.
I hope very much to see Dan again; we need people like him in this world. Especially this time of year when we are all in such a tizzy that we don’t take time to look at the person next to us. We look to celebrities and those in the media to tell us what we should do, how to live and how we should think. But, I think you would be surprised at the stories you would hear if you just took a moment to open your heart and your ears to a stranger. Because the most inspiring and encouraging story you ever hear may come from the person standing right next to you. Thank you Dan.

Joy...Rapture

Crafters, I can hardly contain myself! I may spontaneously combust at any moment. I am going to not just one but, wait for it, TWO enormous craft fairs today. *"Le Sigh"* I will have a full report following today's festivities. Until then remember...respect the craft, live the craft, BE the craft! ;)

The internet totally gets me!

So, I open my e-mail this morning and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature horoscope and...well that was it. No ladies and gentlemen, I am not one of those people who hang every whim or decision on what the stars may say for the day. I do however enjoy the fact that every once and awhile a horoscope will hit the nail on the head. And sometimes, just sometimes, it will tell us something we were needing to hear. And even if down deep you think it is total bullshit...it still makes you feel a little bit better. Today was one of those horoscopes that makes you think someone at the ol' horoscope factory knows you personally. Or perhaps there are little horoscope elves watching your every move and taking notes. Hey, that's not a bad theory, maybe that's how they do it. (Note to self: keep eyes open for rogue elves...they are among us.)Anyway, here is what it said:

"Today, Leo, you might get the chance to take a trip around the world to visit fabulous palaces and experience a timeless love, and all - get this - totally free! This could be called a sensitivity test to the universe of Walt Disney. Goodness knows that you aren't a total stranger to it! By now, you've learned from hard experience that Fantasyland is for Mickey Mouse."

Normally I would laugh and delete it. I mean really, how am I gonna travel the world today...do they have any idea how expensive flights are this time of year! What struck me as amusing is all the Disney references. Anyone who knows me is aware that I have worked for the Mouse more times than I would like to admit and let me tell you he is a tough little boss. Little man syndrome all the way. I am not saying that I buy into this, but isn't it kind of funny how an internet horoscope can make you stop and think. All horoscopes are up to interpretation and this one is lining up with some things that have been running through my head as of late. I spent the last year floating about and sort of hoping all the stars would align and life would be perfect. And as we all know that is just plain fairytale. I know fairytale's pretty well, I've been one for children and I've helped to put one up on screen. But, it's time to move out of la-la land and get my hands dirty again.
What's my point you ask? Encouragement comes from unlikely places if you remember to read between the lines.
Or maybe it's the elves...

Wallflower

This is a story I wrote a little while ago. I really love it and thought I'd put it up. Hope you enjoy.

Wallflower

 

Introverts; Extroverts, Jocks, Smarties, Voyeurs; Sluts; Whiz Kids; Cheerleaders; Wannabes; Non-Conformists; Conformists; Goths; Thespians; Nerds; and some just drifting along on their own planet.
All the usual suspects.
Here we all gather, compressed into the same small space, in the same uncomfortable chairs. We all look different. Consider ourselves unique. Yet our attempts at individuality are betrayed by our similarities. Everyone catching up on the same gossip, comparing achievements, padding failures with an air of hope, noticing and hoping to be noticed. We all size each other up, eavesdrop on conversations, want mommy and daddy's approval, shun authority.

Intensity.
Nonchalance.
Boredom.

Love, hate, envy, desperation.... blah, blah, blah...she felt it all.
She closed her eyes and breathed deep. It was rolling over her in waves, leaving her feeling exhausted and nauseous.  This was why she tried to avoid such crowded places. But there was no avoiding it today. She heard a voice droning on somewhere in the distance. Her attempts to tune it out had caused it to sound like a Peanuts cartoon. She smiled to herself, certain the others would think she looked crazy again. But she didn't care. After going through the gamut of emotional over-spill she felt like a zombie. Probably why no one ever spoke to her. She was the Wallflower, if you had to put a "label" on her. Always watching, never participating. It was just easier that way. She concentrated very hard to raise the walls and shut out everything. 
Slowly the nausea died off and the disembodied voice floated away.
A soft breeze struck her face, popping open her steel blue eyes.

She was back. She was safe.

Her wheat colored hair blew around her small shoulders. Every once in awhile it became ambitious and swirled around her face, tickling her nose and causing her freckles to scatter across her cheeks as she smiled. The deep blue pools of her eyes scanned the vast emptiness of her field. The tall grasses danced around her, beckoning. She closed her eyes once again and spread her arms out to their full expanse. She leaned her head back and focused on the sensation of the grass making drowsy circles over the smooth surface of her palms.

Peace.

She simply breathed and swayed in a silent partnership between herself and the living ocean that was her field. She hummed softly to herself. The wind blew again, suddenly harder, bringing with it another sound. One that was all too familiar. The smile melted slowly from her face and she stood stock-still. Perhaps the sound would blow right past her without a lingering visit. Deep down she knew her hope was in vain. The noise grew louder, more shrill, until she thought her ears would weep with blood. She clamped her hands to her head, begging no one in particular to spare her this time.

Then she was falling.
Spiraling.
The field melted away.

She was on the floor again, the weight of him bearing down on her diminutive frame. Her arms in a vice grip, the heat from his contemptible thoughts surging through her.  His left eye twitched as his gaze switched from her terrified face to the scene only inches from her. The pain was unbearable, but it did not belong to her. She shifted her focus back to her right and confronted her mother's wide, terrified eyes. Steel blue just like hers. Perfectly round, deep set pools. Normally so warm and tender, now filled with fear and pain. Her beautiful wheat colored hair circling her head like a halo. She stared at it. Her mother had let her brush that long hair many times while they sat together. Now seeing it matted and streaked with a hideous red only increased her anger. She looked at the human boulder on top of her, preparing to spit in his disgusting red face.  But a pained sound drew her focus back, as her mother screamed. Her head snapped over to the right and she could sense movement lower down on her mother's body. She began to shift her focus, but her mother begged her to look into her eyes.

"Don't look at him", she implored, "he's not really there my love, it will all be over soon." She tried to smile, but the bruises made the effect less comforting. She wanted to ease her mother’s pain somehow. She felt so worthless and weak. Her mother had wiped her tears when people made her feel different, celebrated her most minute achievements and picked her back up when the world seemed to kick her. Now her mother was the one who needed someone and all she could do was lay here.

Cowardly.

Frail.

PATHETIC.

She began to hum. A familiar little tune that always seemed to stop the world, if only for an instant. The sensations from the two men began to drift away.  Her mother’s golden voice joined her own.

“Wait for me please my love, my life. By our tree where I hung a kiss for you”

“I’ll meet you there soon my life, my love. Wearing a beautiful ribbon of silver and blue.”

“If you choose to renounce me my love, my life. Please leave me your small shining dagger.”

“For I can’t be without you my life, my love. And I’ll meet you in heaven…”

Her mother's agony came rushing back and ripped through her once again, infusing itself with the excitement and pure carnal gluttony from the two men.  She screamed as all the emotions buried themselves in the pit of her stomach. This time she was certain she was going to vomit. She was tempted to do it all over him. But she couldn't look away from her mother's eyes; somehow knowing it was imperative that she memorized her face.

Spinning.
Grunting.
Crying.
Falling...
She closed her eyes and hit bottom.

All was silent and dark. She gradually opened her heavy eyelids to a sea of faces.
Some concerned, some confused, some frightened...but most just judging. She felt the cold linoleum under her, hard and unforgiving. The spot on the back of her head was aching.
Crap.
She'd fainted.
Again.
Wonder how much she'd said this time.  

                                                             

Welcome to my Mind

Life, my friends, is a playground.....and I just fell off my swing.
Or perhaps,
In the dodgeball game of life I just took a ball to the face.
Hmmm, think I'll stick with the first one.
Life is a big ol' playground. You can go down the slide, but it may not usher you to your chosen destination. The jungle gym is a classic. However, it is very easy to get tangled up in a mess or two. No thanks. The merry-go-round, well that just makes me puke. You can try hopscotch, jump rope, monkey bars.....so many choices out there. My personal favorite? The swings. The place you can just sit comfortably and soar. Push your legs out and you can shoot forward, breeze frolicking through your hair and look to where you may be headed, so many possibilities. Now tuck your legs under and you can throw it into reverse and reflect on the past. In my life I have been very content just going back and forth, never really committing to either direction. Here it is safe, easy and undemanding. It's as though I am stuck between who I was and who I will be, without ever acknowledging who I am.
Well, recently life decided I've spent a little too much time on the swings and chose to plant my sorry ass in the sand. And damn how things have changed in the play yard. Not long ago I was writing term papers, finding time to visit the Fam, juggling various social engagements, and just trying to get my ass through school in one piece. My biggest stress was understanding Geometry (which I still despise by the way...Go Algebra!). Nowadays, much to my surprise, I'm married, trying to start a career (if I ever pick one), learning to care for a home, watching childhood friends start families and wondering when I'll start my own.  I know for a fact I'm not the only one out there that is staring towards their 30's and beyond while feeling as though they still haven't figured anything out. And more importantly, do I have to be an adult now?
Somedays it all makes me feel a little crazy. And not just "I put my keys in the freezer" kind of crazy, I'm talking certifiable. Now I'm gazing into the mirror wondering who this chick is, where my instruction manual for all this shit went at and why I wasn't properly prepared for all this adult crap?!
And what is our lesson from all of this boys and girls?
EVERYTHING in life is subject to change. Whether we are prepared for it or not.
Life. You can't control it, but it will introduce you to new and exciting people, take you on harrowing adventures and smack you upside the head once and awhile when you need it.
So what do I choose to do with this new information?
Blog of course. Why? Because it's cheaper than therapy. :)