Had a bit of a reality check today. It was one of those moments when you are sailing right along, thinking you are a pretty swell person. Then something happens, you react and then you suddenly think to yourself, wow, I'm such an ass. Happens all the time, happened to me just this afternoon. I had gone to yoga class and had left the studio feeling super relaxed and all proud of myself for going. I zipped over to Fry's to pick something up whilst tapping my foot and singing to the fabulous Beatles. I was so zenned that I didn't mind the airport traffic, the lines or even the people who only seem to come out once a year and have forgotten exactly how society works. I was calm, I was one with nature...I was yogafied.
That's when it happened. As I came to the exit, there were two motorcycle cops sitting in the intersection with their lights flashing. Alright, no big deal. Hope everything is OK. I continue singing along with Paul about a tall broad named Sally. Then the cars started inching towards me. It was a Funeral motorcade. And what is the first thing that comes out of my enlightened mouth? Not, how sad or happy thoughts for those who are grieving. No way. My first thought was,"Shit, this is gonna take forever." Nice. I watched the cars in my rearview quickly getting wise to the situation and beginning to find another exit. I entertained the thought of doing the same thing myself. Then I realized what I was thinking and mentally slapped myself. It's the holiday season! A time when we should all be caring, warm and giving. Right? And I have the audacity to get annoyed with someone for screwing up my schedule by dying! See! A total Ass! So I put my car into park and watched the cars roll slowly past me. I looked at the people inside each vehicle and wondered how they were feeling and it began to sink in to my thick skull exactly how many cars were passing by me. I began counting. I got up to 60 and that wasn't including the ones I missed while being an insensitive bastard. How wonderful that so many people turned out to celebrate this person, I wonder what they were like. And how sad for them to lose someone so close to the holidays. It was then that I realized what my teachers were talking about when they say it is sometimes difficult to practice loving kindness towards others. It is easy to get caught up in our own trials.
After a few more minutes the motorcade finished and the intersection was back open for business. I made a note to myself to remember this moment and to try harder to approach things with compassion. Then the universe allowed me opportunity for another wicked little thought to slip by. Just as I turned down the street I noticed a man walking briskly to his car, the back of his jacket said TSA. I smiled to myself and mused whether or not he would make it there in one piece. Oh well, guess I'll have to keep working on this whole kindness thing. ;)
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